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Birthday commiserations
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Thanks for being only moderately annoying
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Excellent choice in spouse, you two!
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You're welcome
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Why can't you just like socks?
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Happy birthday, hot stuff
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Happy birthday and all that jazz
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This is an obligatory card for your obligatory gift
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You're the worst person to shop for
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Hope your marriage fares better than your houseplant
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It's not me, it's you
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Got you wine, drank it
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I'm obliged to wish you good luck
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Stop saying bae
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I require valium to put up with you
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I waxed for this occasion
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